I have trouble with shiny objects – always have. And with the way I view the world, there is a seemingly endless supply of them. I also know enough about myself that this will never change. So the trick for me, with all I have planned, is going to be embracing what I know about myself and then finding a way through all of the projects I have by putting blinders on. First, to find the blinders, then perhaps to decorate them… I wonder if the craft store has a sale on glitter this week? (See what I mean?)
Some of the things that distract me are really important, like finding out that the craft store indeed had 50% off all things sparkly this week. Totally kidding, but you get the idea. The important stuff, like learning how to market, learning how to run ads, possibly even learning how to read the data from my website, is pretty shiny. But the question I need to ask myself is: At this precise moment, when you are trying to get your books into the world, is that thing tickling your peripheral important at this moment? Some might argue yes it is important. But, there are others that would argue nothing’s more important than writing the next book. This is where I have my problem. What do I choose? And if I choose writing, how do I find enough time to do it? There is not enough time to write. Or at least that is what I have told myself off and on since I started this journey.
So this post isn’t so much for you as it is for me a reminder to myself that we have been here before, and there is absolutely time to write if you make the time for it. Hell, I have written posts about it here and here. Also, there are things that feed my passion that must be done that might not include the actual act of writing, AKA Filling The Well. By focusing on both, there will be a harsh prioritization of everything else in your world (still speaking to myself). That trip I wanted to go on? It may not happen. The house getting cleaned? That may not happen either. Because if my sole focus is to add to my back list, my sole purpose is to sell books and get my stories out there, then that should be the most important focus in my world second only to my family and friends. I did it before, I know I can do it again.
So, how do I fight my nature? How do I navigate the crazy mess going on in my head and put butt-in-chair and get the work done? I would presume that this essay you’re reading is a start. I am a doer. I see things that need to be done, I am capable of learning how to do them, and often get sucked into a rabbit hole that ends up causing me more work. I enjoy learning, however, I need to ask myself if that is the best use of my time. And if time equals money, if I allow someone else to make better use of that time, is it worth me spending money on it? More importantly, if I’m spending money but not making any, how is anything going to be paid for? These are the things that prevent me from really focusing on the true work, my soul’s work. The work that I would quit a laundry list of things to do. But responsibilities, work, unsurety, all pull at me. And at some point I know in my heart of hearts I need to take a leap of faith. That time is coming.
The knowledge that I’m on the precipice of making that change keeps me up at night. It wakes me up at 2:00 o’clock in the morning, it distracts me with things that don’t really need to be done. It has me folding laundry when I really should be working on a blurb. But, I found that knowing my process and what motivates me has been the best lesson I could have ever learned. Really honing in on your habits and what excites you is most likely the most important thing you will learn about yourself. I like to think of it as following my muse wherever she goes, then examining and experiencing what it is that she is showing me. That change, allowing myself to play, has made has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities.
Perhaps the universe knows more than I do (pretty sure that is the case) and is continuing to send me things that I’ve been blissfully ignoring for years. Things that I have just started to see. Perhaps the universe is nothing more than what we send out into it magnified three times and sent back. Well, if that’s the case then I need to start sending my intentions out every day without fail. And keep laser focus on my end goal. With that in mind, I’d like to list my intentions here and now.
My creativity will comfortably monetize my life. Money flows from my creative endeavors.
I will be an active participant when with my family and friends. I am an active listener.
I will create a comfortable and welcoming home. My home is my safe space.
I will travel to new places to fill my creative well. Opportunities to travel will find me.
I will create a body of work I can be proud of. Looking back, there will be no regrets.
I’m not gonna worry about the how, since I’ve already put all of the how in place as far as I’m concerned. I’m not going to worry about the when because I feel in my heart it’s coming, and I know I’ll be ready for it when it does. I am building a legacy that, quite possibly, will only matter to me, but that’s okay. Because at the end of the day it’s my life and I need to be happy. Are there things that I have done in the past that suffer because of my new vision and drive? Of course. But in reprioritizing what’s important to me, all of the shiny objects in my life have to be examined and put in a pile of importance. What I have found is that a lot of what I do supports distraction. A big piece of it takes me away from my passion. And 40 hours a week of what I do is unappreciated, undercompensated, and meaningless to anyone but me. When I get to the point where I don’t care about what I am doing, what is the point of continuing that thing?
I’ve decided it’s time to close the door on that particular chapter. I’m turning the page. And in doing so I’m embracing the creative inside who has been squelched, beaten, and ignored. I’m embracing her and I’m telling her it’s okay to want something that seems impossible. I have seen people do exactly what I want to do so I know it can be done. So with my blinders on, and my noise cancelling headphones drowning out the naysayers, I will move forward with my newfound desire which has now been put at the forefront of my being. Additionally, I will overcome any obstacle that gets put in my way. And I will do it with a smile on my face, and an song in my heart.
Will there be changes that some people find hard to live with? Assuredly there will be. But do I have the luxury of caring? My answer is no. The fire in my soul, the tiny flame that it was all those years, is now an uncontrollable fire. An unstoppable force that I can no longer contain. It’s time to rise from the ashes like the phoenix I was meant to be and pluck, very selectively, the shiny objects that are important to me. In knew there would be a way to bedazzle my wings! See you at the craft store!
As always, thank you for sharing this journey with me, and for taking the time out of your day to read my thoughts. It means alot. For anyone interested in what I write, please feel free to stay a while and poke around on my website. I have a ton of content I’ve been developing over the years and I would love to get your thoughts on it.
For my Power of Four series, the best link is:
For my Mythical Creatures posts, head over to:
For more Soundtrack of my Life posts:
And for my Shorts and Tidbits:
As always, I hope this post finds you happy and healthy. Until next time! XO