By: D.A. Henneman
For centuries I have sat idly by while historians and authors have misrepresented me entirely. They inaccurately recorded my thoughts, words, and actions. Ironically, the only thing they got right was the name of the lake I traveled upon. I have been referred to as King Arthur’s most trusted prophet and advisor. What has not been brought to the attention of the masses is the fact that I was a prophet, advisor, and soothsayer for a great many men years before Arthur Pendragon was ever born.
My disappearance in the legend of King Arthur has been attributed to my amorous attentions toward an intoxicating enchantress, who is purported to have tricked me with my own magic and trapped me for eternity. Rubbish. This is entirely unfounded, especially considering that the historians cannot agree if her name is Niniane, Viviane, or Nimue. So, I will tell you true it is I, Merlin, who trapped the evil enchantress Morgan le Fay, in fact, and saved a kingdom from ruination.
I wish to clarify, for the last time, the truth about the sequence of events that transpired on the day of my alleged disappearance from Arthur’s life. A day long in the past and only remembered by those who lived the truth.
Now close your eyes and I will take you back. Back to a place and a time you can only see in your mind. A place I once called home. Listen closely to the sound of my voice, to its cadence and tone. It will be all you hear until my tale is complete.
Inhale deeply, and fill your lungs with the dry musk of a bygone era. Do you see them now? The visions as they come to you. So much like paint bleeding into a bucket of water. The wisps fill the empty spaces of your mind with images of rolling hillsides and velvet green with clover. In the distance, the mounds grow higher as they stretch to reach a cloudless sky. And there, a tinkling stream winds its way through the center of the valley where two hills meet. The rolling tumble of the water as it breaks against the stones in the streambed soothes your soul. The gurgling water makes its journey through the lowlands, winding its way through the rich pastures until you reach the devastation.
There is evidence of a horrific battle, blood darkens the water, and lifeless bodies litter the once-colorful fields. You sense there was no victor, and you would be right in all the ways that matter to mortal men. In the center of the carnage, an armored man clutches a sword, stained scarlet, to his chest. He calls out, his voice commanding despite his weakened condition, and summons the final Knight of his Round Table. The bloodied man stumbles through the bodies of his brothers who gave their lives without question and approaches the King they would all die for again. For the cause he represented.
“Bedivere,” his voice is weak with exhaustion, and you strain to hear his instructions. The pain in his eyes pains your heart.
“Take my sword Excalibur and throw her into the Lake of Mists. You must aim true, as no one can know where it lies. The Lady of the Lake will know what to do until my return.”
The knight agrees to do the King’s bidding, but you do not see him take the sword. As your vision fades to gray, you awaken from your slumber… One, two… three. Awake.
That which I have shown you is a vision that has come to me countless times in my life. If I am to right the wrongs against me, it is important that you see it for yourself. I need you to understand why I made the decisions I made, and I have chosen you to correct the inconsistencies in the records. For one tiny cyst, if not taken care of, can grow into the deadliest of cancers. As with all records, we must remove the opinion and leave only facts. It is the only way humankind will learn the lessons properly.
I realized from this vision that my time with Arthur was ending. I knew we would be separated not only by miles but also by death and time. I loved him as a son and had been by his side since his birth. As an adult, he ruled over his Kingdom with a firm but compassionate hand. Through it all I stood by him as his mentor and friend. But then, I was beckoned to Avalon.
I had made my home there through the mists of the lake and the silence of the trees. Where magick lived. A message came to me that our way of life was under attack, and I was needed desperately. My loyalties were torn. I knew if I left Arthur, he would die along with everything he had fought for, but if I did not the magick that kept everyone I loved safe would disappear forever. The choice I made that day changed the destinies of a nation and now you will understand my mind…
One of my former students, an enchantress by the name of Morgan le Fay, was using her powers to corrupt my kingdom. In addition to being my student, she was also Arthur’s half-sister whose unrequited love, after I introduced him to Guinevere, turned her heart into a twisted pit of snakes. I gave her a home in Avalon in the hope of training her in the ways of white magick. But to keep her away from the man who would become king.
Her hatred grew, as did the size of her belly, and she did not understand that it had been a mistake that they had met at all during the masked Feast of Beltane. After the birth of their son, Mordred, her pain festered, growing with the memories her mind created that he had never been part of. She let nothing, no one, sway her from her decision to seek revenge. Their son would be her weapon.
Avalon could only be accessed by crossing the Lake of Mists and reciting ancient verses passed down to those worthy of knowing their magick. These lands had never been seen by mortal eyes. They were exquisite, the waters clear as crystal and trees green as a new leaf. Mystical creatures lived in the crags of the crystal caves and boughs of ancient trees. These creatures had sought a haven safe from the killing blows of mortal men and Avalon is where they came.
The land also became a symbol of learning as I taught many young wizards and enchantresses the spells and secrets held safe throughout the ages. All who came were given sanctuary, harmony, and peace. I had hoped that Avalon would heal Morgan’s wounded heart and allow her to forgive the past and start anew, but alas. I did not fully understand the power of a woman’s wrath, nor the true pain in her heart. For my oversight, we have all paid dearly.
While helping Arthur build his kingdom, Morgan’s skills had grown and her ache for revenge blinded her to the true purpose of our beloved Avalon. The lands suffered at her hands and eventually, my raven journeyed to Camelot to find me. When he relayed his message, I knew my return to Avalon was imperative, though my mind fought against all the things I would leave undone.
I gathered my few belongings and crept into Arthur’s bedchamber to approach his sleeping form. I appealed to the magick that surrounded me, to ensure that though Arthur’s physical body may be lost to this world, that his life force would live on in another. While I feared for Arthur’s safety, I also knew that if I did not return to Avalon that everything, I held dear, every tradition I upheld, would be eliminated in this world and the next. The protection spell was all I could offer. I left Arthur’s bedchamber, knowing that I had done all that I could and that I would never see him alive again.
The Avalon I returned to was soaked with the weight of despair. The vibrant creatures that once filled the forests hid from sight, fearful they would be tormented or killed. My heart ached as I made my way back to my home and regret filled my soul. Morgan was waiting for me on the steps of my fortress, her eyes lit with madness.
She welcomed me back to Avalon with arms raised, then cast an impressive frost spell hoping to trap me inside an icy shell. I shielded myself with a mirror spell and sent her dark power back to her, amplified. I too had things I had been working on. With a pained scream, she turned to ice, the same fate she had planned for me. I was too late to save my king in the human world, but keeping Morgan alive would still serve a purpose in mine.
Morgan’s son Mordred had been sent to Camelot to destroy Arthur and my ill-timed trip to Avalon was when they faced each other on the battlefield as enemies. After a long and bloody battle, Arthur defeated Mordred, never to know that he was his only son. The secret died with Mordred and that is where it must stay, for all our sakes.
As Arthur lay there weak and injured from the battle, he called to his knight Bedivere. I saw the vision again, as I had in the past, but this time I knew the truth of it. This was not a vision of the future I was seeing but of the present. I had my apprentices ready for the barge that would bring Arthur into Avalon, as only the magick of my land would save him now.
While preparations were made, I returned to Morgan and absorbed her powers, good and evil, before releasing her from her icy prison. Grateful that I had not killed her, and relieved to no longer be carrying the weight of dark magick in her heart, she was humbled to do my bidding. As nothing is more miserable than an enchantress without her powers, I shared she could earn back her magick by proving herself worthy. I explained that she must do everything within her power to ensure that Arthur lived, as his life force was connected to that of Avalon. She understood now that had she succeeded in killing Arthur through Mordred, that the magick and our beloved lands would have disappeared forever. Now that the toxic veil in her mind was lifted, she was grateful she had not succeeded.
She agreed to go with the enchantress Niniane and the Lady of the Lake, Viviane, to retrieve Arthur’s body from the battlefield, a task which they saw to right away. I saw in my visions how they lay his body gingerly upon the barge floor, his bloodied head resting in Morgan’s lap, as she wept silent tears of remorse. On their journey back to Avalon, the Lady of the Lake raised her hands and summoned the sword Excalibur from the murky depths of the Lake of Mists, just where Bedivere had thrown it. This last step ensured the return of the Kingdom through Arthur and sealed the mystical portal from your world to ours, until magick and mortals could live together in harmony. Something that has evaded us all until now.
Now let it be said that the truth is known about all that transpired on the day of King Arthur’s last battle. The truth that I, Merlin, am the true keeper of Avalon and that I was never, or ever will be, trapped by the wiles of a female. In fact, the truth is that I defeated evil, converted a wayward enchantress, and saved a mystical kingdom from all but disappearing from this Universe. I also saved the only king ever worthy enough to rule from a fate he truly did not deserve.
Morgan, who now calls herself Nimue (Nee moo ay), has proven herself to be a very loyal subject to Arthur and earns back a bit of power each day. Their relationship is as it always should have been now that she has had time to heal. They do not talk about the past and there is much of it they do not remember, which is for the best. For the things they do remember, there is forgiveness.
As they grow stronger, the magick of this land grows as well, filling the forests, rivers, and hearts of the souls who live here with hope. Avalon is once again a sanctuary, a mystical place to live, and finally select mortals are welcome within its borders.
So, as you can see, although you may hear or read otherwise, mine is the only truth you need to believe. For I, Merlin was once there and still am if you know the right place to look. Your questions seeking the truth are one of the first steps in finding me.
Original Publisher: The Washington Square Review – 2023
I am pleased to announce that my short story, Merlin’s Side, was selected for publication through Lansing Community College and is now available for purchase through Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/Washington-Square-Review-Summer-2023-ebook/dp/B0CFC6YZYR The ebook version is only .99 and includes a wonderful selection of essays, poetry and short fiction! Be sure to support the arts and get your copy today!
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute or transmit in any form or by any means. For information about subsidiary rights, please contact the author at saraybooksllc@gmail.com.
1 thought on “Merlin’s Side”
Comments are closed.