Earlier this year, I blamed a lot of what I was going through on mercury retrograde. Specifically, the one which started in March and ended in June 2021. I’m not sure about you, but I felt the effects of the tail through the beginning of July 2021. We won’t even talk about 2020. As I pondered what the heck was going on with my head, I read an article that suggested that you should hold off on making any major decisions, AKA saying things that you might regret, until at least the middle part of month following. That perked up my ears. Following that advice, I used that time to do some soul-searching, while others may have chosen the alternate path. Let’s just say some things were said that some folks will most likely regret later, and while I let it upset me in the moment, I realized pretty quickly that it is part of their journey not mine. I accept their opinion, everyone has one, but I won’t allow it to hold me back. I am preparing myself to move forward, level up as I like to call it, but this time it will be on my terms.
The thing about knowing your path is that it isn’t always easy to stay on it. Sometimes you have responsibilities that hold you back from those things. I have found that sometimes you need to shuffle through and decide out of those responsibilities what is priority and what is not. It’s an ongoing process, one that doesn’t always reflect my desires. Some priorities become more important, responsibilities become more demanding, and so adjustments to your focus need to be made. Sacrifice, but in a good way, since what I choose to do always serves the greater good. What I can say is that I can now recognize each of these tasks for what they are, and plan what I’m going to do about them as I move forward. That was the piece I was missing during the retrograde earlier this year – the piece that showed me what needed to be done, but didn’t allow me to see my way through. Now that the fog has lifted, I can see where I’m heading.
As scary as it is, I’m ready for it. Change is difficult, it’s painful and if I’ve learned nothing else about it I know it can always morph into something much different than what you imagined. But I’ve found that if you don’t focus on something, if you don’t strive to better yourself in your understanding of human nature or the world around you, then you’re just making the motions you’re not truly living. Writing has helped me with that. It allows me to understand what I think about the world, the people in my life, and the issues that are important to them. It also helps me understand the seemingly insane decisions that are being made for me, by people that clearly don’t understand what I have planned for myself. Crazy as that sounds, I have come to terms with their ramblings, and have taken to nodding and smiling – then carry on with what I was doing. Wouldn’t recommend that for everyone, but it is working for me.
A recent life change brought me the focus I needed. I recently became a grandma and I’m over the moon about it. His timing couldn’t be more perfect for me since it aligned beautifully with me coming out of my fog. Without a word, he managed to put my world in perspective. He has given me one of the greatest gifts I could’ve ever received since the day I walked away from a cancer diagnosis. Life altering moments – they happen in a heartbeat, and their impact follows you whether you realize it or not for the rest of your life. Grabbing onto those moments and understanding them for the message that they are, is something I promised myself I will be more in-tune with from now on. Because I want to be better person, to leave this world a better place than I found it, and to look back on a rich, full life and not have one regret for any decision I’ve ever made. I want to be a positive force in my grandson’s beautiful life, and in order to do that, there are some changes that need to be made. I’m ready to roll up my sleeves.
Each step I take brings me closer to my goal, and as I get closer the decisions become easier. I suppose it is because I now have less roads on my map. There is only one path in my mind, and I am going for it. I might not have a conventional way of thinking, hell I am pretty much a dreamer and always have been, but being happy is my end goal, and living a life of my choosing is just the way I’m going to get it. So it should come as no surprise that this next soundtrack of my life is My Way by Frank Sinatra. He knew what he was talking about, and I believe I’m finally ready to hear the message.
As always, thank you for sharing this journey with me, and for taking the time out of your day to read my thoughts. It means alot. For anyone interested in what I write, please feel free to stay a while and poke around on my website. I have a ton of content I’ve been developing over the years and I would love to get your thoughts on it.
For my Power of Four series, the best link is:
For my Mythical Creatures posts, head over to:
For more Soundtrack of my Life posts:
And for my Shorts and Tidbits:
As always, I hope this post finds you happy and healthy. Until next time! XO